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MST3K 519 - Outlaw
The Movie Synopsis A sequel to somethin'. A beefy, blond, Camaro-driving adjunct professor, Tarl ''Cabot, and his cloven-hooved, curly-tailed Java instructor and comedy relief colleague, Watney Smith, are teleported by the Home Stone (from Home Depot - a rose quartz) to another planet/dimension, because The Elder, advisor to the affable, progressive King Marlenus of Koroba, fears that Xeno, the high Priest (Jack Palance), has eyes for the throne. The Elder is mistaken, though; it's the sinister queen who craves the throne for herself in order to gain absolute power and impose her philosophy of government based on slavery, union-busting and permanent tax cuts for the rich. Cabot cares nothing for palace intrigue, just for Princess Telena, who as a character is, alas, little more than a vehicle for clothing, makeup, and period hair. Oh, she gets to battle a dominatrix while doing cartwheels in a skimpy outfit. When Cabot shows up, it is apparent he is next in line for the throne, based on events occurring in the previous film and his romantic involvement with the princess. Watney is easily seduced by the queen (by offers of power-sharing and by actual osculation) to help frame Cabot for the murder after she commits regicide. She then promptly puts a sword through The Elder, schedules Princess Telena for eventual execution, and throws Watney down the nearest waste chute. Cabot and his platinum blond midget friend escape off into the desert. A bounty hunter is dispatched by the queen to return Cabot - alive - to the queen. He must be handled with some discretion, as he is popular with the common people ("the people worship him!") and as such, a political threat to her. He is also determined to end slavery on Koroba. Meanwhile there is escalating tension between Xeno (who seems much more like a wizard than a priest as no imaginary supernatural deities are mentioned) and the queen on how certain things ought to be done. The queen does not like to "take orders" and Xeno is not the most tactful of advisors, either. Will Cabot survive the desert? Can he depose the evil queen and institute a utopian representative democracy? Will Watney Smith be consigned to the seventh circle of hell for his treachery? Whatever happened to Tarl's Camaro? How many miles on it? Information *This film is the sequel to the 1988 film Gor, and is more widely know by its alternate title, '''Outlaw of Gor'. Both films are based (very, very loosely) on the long-running but controversial (for its misogynistic practices) series of Gor novels by John Norman. *The main character's name "Cabot" is spoken more than 55 times in the opening 10 minutes alone, mostly by his friend Watney Smith. IMDB The Episode Host Segments Prologue: Mike and the bots are roughhousing on the SOL bridge. Gypsy warns them to stop, but they fail to heed her warnings and Servo ends up getting stuck on the ceiling. Segment One (Invention Exchange): Servo recovers from the roughhousing. The Mads are really proud of their Really Real Time Machine. But it turns out the time machine is just a box where Dr. F and TV’s Frank can go change into period costumes. Mike, Tom, and Crow show off the results of their Fabio Kit. Gypsy laughs at them. Segment Two: Mike and the bots look through a scrapbook of Mike’s stage career. He wore a sailor suit in every show he ever did, even when it was not necessary (such as in Oh! Calcutta!). Segment Three: Inspired by all the exposed flesh in the movie Mike and the Bots sing the musical revue "Tubular Boobular Joy". Segment Four: Mike, Crow, and Tom eagerly read excerpts from the book Palance on Palance, complete with appropriate voices. Segment Five: Mike and the bots revisit the many buffalo shots from the movie. Back in Deep 13, the Mads are going through dances of the ages for no apparent reason. Stinger: The Evil Queen tells Jack Palance, “Get out of here, you dis''GUS''ting WOORRRRRM!” Obscure References *''"Big buttery slabs of Fabio!"'' Fabio was a famous male model from the 1990s who made commercials for "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." *''"I crap bigger than this movie!"'' A reference to a line delivered by Jack Palance, "I crap bigger than you!" in the movie City Slickers, which he delivered again when he accepted the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for that movie. Billy Crystal was the host of the Oscars that year, and his character was the target of that line in the movie. *''"It's Doc Savage!"'' Doc Savage was a popular pulp-fiction hero of the 1930s. *''"I bought it off Pete Rose."'' According to rumors, Pete Rose used his 1975 World Series Ring to cover his gambling debts to bookies. *"Hey, La Pieta!" La Pieta is a sculpture by Michelangelo depicting the body of Jesus in the lap of his mother Mary. *"Sand Nazis. I hate these guys." Allusion to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. *"Wouldn't it be great if you were stuck in another dimension with an annoying guy and he brought beer?" A paraphrase-parody of Keystone Beer commercials from the 1990s. *"I'm confident! I'm secure!" the bad guys run down the sand dune, waving their arms over their heads Commercials for Sure Deodorant in the 1980s promised that Sure would make you "confident, dry and secure." The tagline was "Raise your hand if you're sure!" *''"Don't crush that dwarf, hand me those pliers!"'' The title of a record by the Firesign Theatre, which you should listen to right now. *''Queen: "What do you have to say for yourself" Orst: "I'm not dead yet" Crow (as Orst): "I'm feeling better"'' Reference to a Monty Python and the Holy Grail "Bring out your dead" sketch *"He's got Jennifer Beals' shirt on." Jennifer Beals played the main character in the movie Flashdance, famous for pairing oversized, ripped sweatshirts with tights and leg-warmers. *"Camille Paglia and Susan Faludi: The Final Conflict!" Camille Paglia and Susan Faludi are well-known feminist writers from the 1990s. *''"In the desert, you don't remember your name..."'' A reference to the 1972 hit song "A Horse With No Name" by America. *''"Do I look like Greg Norman?"'' Greg Norman is an Australian professional golfer. *''"I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of ass!"'' Paraphrased allusion to the 1988 movie They Live. *''"Bob-Ah Fett!"'' Crow incorrectly pronounces the name of Star Wars bounty hunter and fan favorite Boba Fett. *''"A whole chapter on 'Tango & Cash'!"'' Tango & Cash was a 1989 action film starring Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, with Jack Palance and Robert Z'Dar playing villains. *''"No... 'Faces of Death', actually."'' Faces of Death is an infamous exploitation film consisting of supposedly authentic footage of people being killed. Notes This episode won the 1993 Peabody Award for Outstanding Quality Programming. Screened at several colleges before broadcast in the Free Cheese tour. http://www.mst3ktemple.com/stuff-mem-cons.html References Category:MST3K Episodes Category:Season 5 Category:80s Movie Category:Foreign Film Category:Sword and Sandal Category:Episodes directed by Trace Beaulieu Category:Movies with nudity edited out Category:PG-13-rated movies